From time to time, we all have problems with letting go of the past. Maybe it’s a failed relationship, a missed job opportunity, or a bad decision you made. Whatever the problem is, hanging on to it isn’t healthy and can lead to you affecting your present and future because of it.
When we attach ourselves to negative experiences from the past, it can taint everything that’s happening to us right now. So, how can we stop attaching our past story and own meaning where it doesn’t belong to a current event?
Let it go
I know, this is easier said than done, but letting go of past events can be the biggest healer. It will free up all the time and negativity spent obsessing over the past and let you live your present life how you want to live it.
Be kind to yourself
Maybe the past story you can’t let go of is that you’re not good enough. Whether you’ve had this drummed into you by a parent, a partner, a teacher, or whoever else. Holding onto this belief can seriously damage your self-esteem and confidence, which can then affect everything you do.
Practice talking to yourself (this doesn’t mean you’re crazy!) in a way that is kind and reassuring. A way that builds you up rather than tears you down.
Talk it through
It can be really useful to talk through your issues with someone else. A friend or loved one, a therapist, or a coach, for example. Talking it through out loud can help you understand the problem better, and guidance from the person you’re talking to can prove useful, too, especially if they have had similar experiences.
Try and reframe what you are thinking to give yourself peace of mind. Ask yourself, what meaning am I giving to this event? Is it true? How do I know that? What more neutral, helpful meaning could I give to this event? Note what you are telling yourself…. are you have negative, distressing thoughts – is your mind going into overdrive. Just stop, breathe, and think what could I say to myself that is kinder and more helpful…if you tell yourself negative things and believe them about yourself, you can make them a reality so say something kind to yourself.
Your past has made you who you are today, but it does not determine what your future is going to be, so don’t let it!
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