Sometimes loss comes at the most unexpected times and when it does, we are often not prepared for it. Be that a job loss, the end of a relationship, or someone passing away we can expect to ride a wave of emotions – and fluctuate in between them.
We can cycle between shock, disbelief, denial, anger, resentment – you name it, you’ll probably feel it. And your experience will be different from anyone else’s, as you are unique. No-one knows what you truly value, what goes on in your mind and your heart.
Whilst I believe in living an awesome life, how I define awesome anyway, there are going to be times when life sucks. And there is nothing you can do about it, and you are powerless to change it. It’s the contract of life, sometimes when we very much appreciate the good experiences in life, we can keenly feel those negative experiences. On some level, we need to embrace it and hold on to a glimmer that we will get through, or at least make peace with what is happening.
It’s part of the deal, especially if you love and care for others, the contrast.
I’m writing this because I came back from holiday to find out someone I cared for very much had unexpectedly passed away, in fact, it was someone I was very close to. We stayed on friendly terms and from my part there was a genuine caring for his well-being, with no agenda, other than wanting the best for someone, who, for a while, made a major impact in my life. For the impact that he had – the positive aspects – I will always be grateful.
I read somewhere that grief is love with nowhere to go, and I believe that. And it’s yet another reminder that sometimes, people come into your life, or you attract them because there is something you need to experience, to learn, to develop, to enjoy – whatever it is but I fully recognise and appreciate the role this person played in my life and I am sad that we won’t get to catch up as we planned. I did experience, and am experiencing, sadness and anger at what happened and that’s natural. I’ve always wanted to look back without regrets, and I’m glad we were on good terms.
Looked out for your loved ones, and let go of grudges – they only serve to damage your well-being…and allow yourself to feel what you need to during loss not what you feel you should be feeling or doing…recovery can’t be forced. Be grateful for everyone who’s been and is in your life.
“Cherish yesterday, dream tomorrow, live now” – Richard Bach.
This post is dedicated to TCMM.