Despite our best efforts, we can all fall short sometimes unless you are totally cocooned from life. As much as I believe in the Law of Attraction, and having a healthy, balanced mindset there are some maxims that I think are really useful to take on board for example:
- Do you know what stuff just happens
- Life’s just unfair sometimes
- That was just an episode, not my whole life!
- Just roll with it
I’m not saying these statements excuse poor behaviour on your part, but sometimes they can stop you catastrophising something that has gone wrong. It helps soften the blows that life can deal us. Or what we deal to ourselves (self-sabotage anyone?)
But there come occasions where you feel you fall short of your own values and standards. In my experience, that doesn’t happen too often as I like to work from a ‘glass half full’ position but unfortunately, many others do not. I have done it though, and acted in a ‘less than’ way recently and whilst the outcome may not have been what I had wished, I have taken it on the chin and owned my contribution to the situation. Yep, life just sucks sometimes hey!
But fall short we do. We’re humans, not robots. I think it’s key to acknowledge it, but also to work on forgiving yourself, and think ‘what would I do differently next time?’ or ‘what action can I take to ensure this does not happen again?’ Unless you are a sociopath, narcissist – both – or somewhere in between – you will probably know when you’ve messed up. I’ve done it myself, and it’s a painful nagging feeling that tells you, you have acted out of alignment with yourself.
This is where ‘owning your stuff comes in.’ It is not:
- Blaming, criticising and dismissing others
- Making excuses for why you did what you did
- Repeating the same behaviour and expecting a different outcome
- Justifying why you did something
What it does entail is being adult enough to acknowledge what you have done, apologise, make amends and take actions to mitigate the risk of it happening again. And once again, vulnerability will come into the picture here. But it can be such a great learning experience, and give you great inner strength if you develop the capacity to ‘own your stuff’. Sometimes it means things don’t work out quite as you would wish, but I guess at least you have made an effort to fix what the problem was. And if not, you have learnt something valuable about yourself and developed as a person. None of us gets it ‘right’ all the time – whatever ‘right’ is!!